


Heart Of Gold

by Nefe28ostar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gay Sex, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Shameless Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2020-02-04 19:58:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18611464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nefe28ostar/pseuds/Nefe28ostar
Summary: After learning of Eren's affair with Levi twice in one day, Mikasa decides to cut her losses, besides, she knew he never truly belonged to her in the first place. However, moving on isn't as easy as it seems, but with commander Erwin Smith as her secret rock, the concept of "moving on" becomes twisted and warped from an escalating sexual tension that mysteriously grows from them both....





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I know I have maybe 2-3 ongoing fics at the moment, don't worry guys I'm currently working on them...But this one kinda happened by itself.... My first attempt at an AOT fanfic... Just a little preview of what you can expect, that's if the reviews are ok enough....... 
> 
> What do you think??? Is it a NO or a GO ???????

PROLOGUE ......... 

Warm broad hands calloused at the tips and at both palms asserted their command by steering her vision elsewhere. She knew this sensation, this strange feeling that engulfed her body as though possessed by a ghost. This unraveling touch remained as new as it did some hours ago, and Strangely odd as it seemed Mikasa gave into his comfort with a heaviness at heart. Her eyes glossed over with thick sheets of unkept tears and lips trembled from it's unslaughth before he, this godly creature of a man finally nestled her into his embrace.... 

"I am your commander Ackerman, but most importantly", Sky blues found her own pair of storm filled eyes in a show of comprehension. And for a agonizing second Mikasa fought to cast her vision else where least she fell yet another victim to her own vulnerability as her saviour continued his remorseful dialogue...  "I am your equal as a human being. This you that sits before me is a proud and strong Soldier but sometimes even the strongest of us all needs an even stronger force to lean on... Let me be that force will you, Mikasa?"....... ..  

The calming sound of his gruff baritone combed through her frazelled nerves, caressed her sadness before the inevitable occured ; and like a tidal wave of unimaginable proportion, Mikasa finally howled at the wind from the pain this crumbling love for Eren had unconsciously inflicted in her heart. With rain battering them both and no scarf to offer her the once known comfort of Eren's presence, She clung to Erwin for dear life, from pain of loss, of heartache and regret..... 

Tears came relentlessly and interwove themselves as one with the screaming weather, but she held on tightly to her commander, to his bodily heat and all the comfort he so willing offered to a broken soldier of barely nineteen years of age. A meer child she was with a given name from birth that was now drenched in the blood of countless friends and enemies...... She thought she had nothing left, no one to call her own, no one to cling to like a tattered life line after learning of Eren's and Levi's love for each other until HE came; her commander, their commander...... Erwin Smith.....


	2. .......... Memories...........

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been a while guys. Anyways I know I've made some major mistakes with the names, mainly Krista's. I'll fix that in the next installment. Ohhh HAPPY NEW YEARS GUYS!  
> (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤♡(ӦｖӦ｡)♥╣[-_-]╠♥ෆ╹ .̮ ╹ෆ

.....................Memories......................

               My love my love  
                      My fearless love  
              I will not say goodbye.

               
                      Sea may rise           
                       Sky may fall  
             My love will never die.

               

        Under the cloak of night they gathered around, perhaps a hundred or so, probably more if one were to be precise. Dressed in uniforms embolden with colours brown white and gold, they shone marvelously with the aid of fire burning brightly as each new attendant lent fuel to its already brilliant glow. A bond fire to secretly commemorate the passing of soldiers, friends, lovers and families, all gone from them in the years past and the wars both lost and won. 

                         Go on Go on  
                        Go bravely on  
                   Into the blackest night.

                       Ooh, Ooh, Ooh

    Somberly, almost eerily she sang. Poised atop a make shift stage while her peers and comrades all blessed the heavens with long looks of utter sorrow, and the air with cold breadths of despair.  The elders and noblemen, cities newly built and those of old had their chances to show respect. But the ones whom fought along side the dearly departed, whom were left to pick up the scatter ruins of their fellow soldiers, choose to pay their tributes in a more simpler way. 

                    My heart My heart  
                    My drowning heart  
              Oh all the tears I've cried.  
              Oh I may weep forever more  
                  My love will never die.

   Eyes brimming with tears, too many that were once shed years past as the wounds of war both physical and not remained as fresh as they were, and though the period of morn had fled, life relented not its cruel reminder; their own sickening memories of the days the Titans ceased their reign. Christa, or more precisely Her Majesty Queen Historia, stood above her people, her family. Proudly she sang; humbling the hearts of the torn, soothing the aches in their bones with a song more suited than she knew. In every heart slept the faces of a dear loved on, in ever soul lived cherished memories of their laughters. In hers she protected Ymir, Berthold, Reiner, as did the others, regardless of their crimes. 

                   My love My love  
                   My fearless love  
               I will not say goodbye

                       Sea may rise  
                       Sky may fall  
                    My love will die.

                    Ooh, Ooh, Ooh.

            

                           
   Oh how beautiful she seemed, their queen, so ethereal like, that Mikasa felt forced to fully lend her attention. To her immediate left sat the always angelic looking Armin, her far left, Sasha and her cute baldheaded tail, Connie; members of the Scout regiments very best. Suspiciously though, Eren remained no where insight, well not hers at least, and the very same rang true for their pain in the fucking ass captain. But Mikasa stayed put, resisting that age old habit of seeking him out secretly with the aid of Armin's arm securing her waist. Lightly colored tuffs of brown hair made it evident as to whom now claimed her right shoulder, and his name spelt Jean; With the comforting warmth that emanated from their now closeness she finally decided to relent a little bit of that unwavering tension she had built up inside. Oh how the day had been tediously long, difficult almost to bear and while she sat there caged in by two of her best friends, Mikasa involuntarily allowed the soft soothing voice of Christa's in; giving her mind a short reprieve from the week's earlier struggles. Over head and up in the town away, midnight struck the hour for the loud chiming of the royal clock traveled unhindered, even as far as the large patch of woods they'd made their venue for the night. 

 

Cackling sounds of fire breaking wood, of fire burning, consuming each offer as they were tossed into a charged afterlife brought ease to her mind momentarily, but only so. Niggling at the back of her still  buzzing mind slept her unease. Rumors, though ridiculous they maybe, carried still a tinge of truth, a hint of realness she dare not believe. But never the less, with Eren's sudden questionable absence Mikasa's inner world was slowly sinking into turmoil. Quickened sniffs coming from her right side immediately garnered her attention now but barely so. Knowing how much the deaths of their friends affected each, astonishing not became the mood as Jean silently wept. Marco, no doubt he missed him so, actually they all did at this point. But you see while they were missing the dead, she was missing the living. 

 

"Jean?" Armin called out after having extracted himself from her waist. With a hand out stretched towards the always proud but humble Kirstein, he gently helped him to his feet. "Common, let's go grab us something to eat, what'd you say buddy?"..... Ohhh blessed he were to produce such a stunning smile amidst the subtle echoes of cries that lingered around, and how quick were he to yield such promising results for the once silently weeping Jean immediately followed his lead. 

On they walked as the talker closely followed behind the shorter one, neither paying much mind at this point to the far too quiet, far too lonely being they'd unintentionally left behind. Not that she cared much about it anyways, right? Especially not when they'd made it so easy for her to give in to that nagging sensation to go seek that which remained hidden; and 'THAT' most certainly meant Eren, her Eren. Though Armin tried his best to keep his and Jean's relationship a subtle existence, truth were, as the days got shorter and the nights longer, they both carelessly allowed themselves full enjoyment of a luxury she could only hope to achieve; if only a certain some one would just stop to give her the time and day she so desperately sought, so desperately craved. But alas, such desires seemed as though they weren't meant for the likes of her kind. 

 

"A penny for thy thought Meeks?"...

Far too quickly she recollected herself by forcing a small smile.  " I was just wondering about that song you sang". 

Christa gave her own version of a barely there curve of the lips. "It was Ymir's. Remember when we were forced to train on the mountain during that blizzard?" Mikasa gestured her reply. 

"Well that was the very first time I heard it. She sang that song nonstop. It nearly drove me mad if I were to be honest"

"And you sang in her honour, a song you will never forget". A statement but not quite, Mikasa has surely hit the nail on its head hadn't she?. Silence engulfed them now, not the awkward kind but it was the queen whom decided to prick its side. 

"She isn't the only one we've lost Meeks. Bert, Reiner they were all our frie-"

"I can't listen to this again, coming from you especially!" The memories of those two traitors were forever singed into her mind, all of their minds. Brooding though silently, Mikasa stood her ground for the time being, as well as her voice for the last thing she needed was to cause great embarrassment not to her friend, but to their queen in full view of the public. It was always the same argument, the same replies and attitude on both of their parts. However, tonight was not like the others, no it was not. 

"We've been over his enough haven't we?" She hissed. 

"Yes we have but isn't four years far too long to harbour such hatred. Mikasa look at me please?"... Permissionless, Christa gently cupped one cheek, trying her best to steer her dear friend's gaze towards her and not the cluster of dark foliage that bordered around their camp sight. Luckily, her efforts weren't spent in vain for Ackerman number two astonishingly adhered to the spoken request, though quietly it came. 

Taking one far too deep breath, barely managed to sway her nerves towards a more tranquil direction, and upon spotting that tinie tiny hint of  self-righteousness their small group had come to associate with their always caring Christa Lenz, Mikasa had finally had enough of tonight. Every one missed someone. They all did. Jean mourned Marco, like wise the others. Nina, Thomas, Hanz, Hanes, too many numerous to even mention. But had any one stopped to think about her, about the people she'd missed, lost during Reiner and Berthold whole fucked up scheme? It was no mystery now why Eren choose his own company over theirs, and if she knew better and she knew she did by now, Armin as well was probably submerged under his own drowning griefs. 

"I don't have time for this, every year its the same thing. I'm tired, we both are, aren't we?".. She was on her feet now, and that act in of it self managed to gather the very attention they both were trying not to garner. Eyes, pairs and pairs of eyes penetrated them both, not because they were friends, no but rather Qeen and subordinate. Higher ups present got to their feet as well, like wise the royal guards but in truth they all knew that even if they tried, the Ackermans were forever invinceble. Though Captain Levi were the worst, Mikasa, his Eren loving, younger cousin remaind the most savage of the two. 

"Mikasa wait!" Christa yelled as her too proud to be sane friend began her escape. But Mikasa wasn't having any of it. 

"Excuse me, your majesty but I better go look for the others or the Captain would have my ass if their not in top shape by the morrow"...  And off she went; her steps hurried but precise and lasted for about thirty seconds before the shadow of night engulfed her entire being. 

 

"Seriously, every year I swear it's the same dam thing with her. Arggg, i can't take it!".... 

" You know how she gets, Chris,  and to be honest you should know better. Here, have a piece of meat, i bet it'll make you feel alot better."  Well Sasha never failed to lift their spirits, whether she was purposely being funny or not. 

Luckily their beautiful blonde, Aside from Annie, and Armin, were far easier to placate than you thought. With one last angry huff, their queen relented the fight in her. It was getting late and come tommorow office duties were sure to keep her busy all day. Enough sleep had been lost, and thoughts about hers and Mikasa's ceremonial tiff were sure to keep her awake longer than she liked. 

"Your Majesty !".... A voice, strong, gruff baritoned, pleasant and familiar called out.

Immediately Sasha playfully jabed her sides; her way of alerting a friend. Having a piece of meat hanging from the corner of her mouth, and Barbeque sauce dripping down her chin, were combinations that would drive any sane man away. Especially the handsome specimen that came calling. 

"Cap-uh Commander, good evening!" 

"It's good morning vice corporal Braust, the hour is already past one am", the dashing man replied with a quickened quirk to his sinful lips. "May I have a word with Christa?"

Ó╭╮Ò .Embarrassment flooded the always eating red head, so much so that she ran with out giving a proper reply. 

"HEY SASHA, YOU PROMISED TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH ME. DON'T YOU FORGET!" A promise not to their queen but to a friend. And Christa hadn't a care as to how absurd her request sounded in the ears of the public nor her royal advisors. All she needed was her family.  "Sorry Commander, I was uh-just-"

Erwin waved her excuse off with a kind smile. "It's alright, I wanted to talk to you about what just happened with-"

At that, their new leader sighed loudly but her face showed no signs of annoyance or irritation, which spoke as much as he needed to know. And the thing he needed to know was that come tomorrow, Ackerman and their Queen's relationship would be back to where it originally were. After all, in these times both Levi and Mikasa were actual Nobles whose protection and name were just as equal to the Queen's very own status. 

"It's ok Commander Smith, we were just having a small argument. At his point one would think it's tradition by now"

" I see", he somberly spoke, though his brows were nitted in a skeptical manner. "Still though, we can't have you two publicly arguing like this. It might be the norm for the scouts, but to the public, it might cause great unrest"

Surprise not came the mood, for Christa had already figured out this much. And while their most respected leader hadn't cause to worry, she knew that he was simply doing this for both of their sakes. "I understand, however, I wish you good luck with that notion of yours"

" None needed, after all I've had Levi to deal with for far too long"

" Ohhh?" ...... 

Now this caught Erwin's attention far more than he would have liked. Lenz was always a clever and kind child but just like the others she had a streak of brilliance and cunningness to her.  That 'ohhh'  meant a world full of troubles for him.

"Erwin", a term of endearment she rarely used unless she was giving a good old friend some advise. "This is Mikasa we're talking about, the only woman that handed Heichou his own ass, aside from you and Mike. I guarantee she'll sock you in the balls for even trying to scold her with out 'proper' cause. But, you're welcome to try"... She decided to take her long awaited leave; her steps slow, elegant and within seconds royal guards, as well as Braust and Springer were at her sides. "Oh and Erwin, I suggest you better not bring up our little fight. Not tonight atleast"... 

 

"Piece of cake Your Majesty, piece of cake".... Lie, and he knew it; fuck, their entire squad knew how difficult it was dealing with one Ackerman muchless two. They were self opinionated creatures who barely managed to follow proper orders with our a justifiable outcome, and kicking ass was their number one thing. 

"Just a warning for your own safety bro!"... Mike's sudden presence startled the shit out of him, but his laps was minor if not non existent to the public.

"You should know better than to sneak up on me".  A slight warning that lacked bite. 

" You", Hanje on the attack now.  "Should know that you're fighting a loosing game. Mikasa's as stubborn as they come and rousing trouble where it isn't will only get you kicked in the nuts"

" Your theories aren't proven. So I'll just stick to what I do best", Erwin wasn't having any of it"

" Trust us bro. Their best friends. Mixing politics where it isn't needes will get-"

" Get me kick in the nuts. Yeah I heard you the first time". Annoyed was he, yes, very. Irritated perhaps, most definitely. Never the less, Erwin Smith had a duty to ensure obedience on the Scout's part, and though the Ackermans were as equal to royalty, Erwin Smith wasn't having any of it. People respected them because of fear, and that respect inadvertently became their Queen's. To lose the people's admiration and trust might as well be the tumbling block that'll collapse their entire society. So, his god dam mind was made up. Mikasa needed to know her place. Petty arguments aside, in the view of the public, images needed to be kept and laws abided. "What ever. I have my sworn duty to carry out or Pixis is going to have my ass mounted on his wall".....


End file.
